Quiet Time

Since moving back to Louisville, I have attended church more than I have in my whole life. Literally. Even when I was 15 and first came to know Jesus, I didn’t go to church every week like I have been now.

What brought this on? When I was in NYC and searching for a job in Louisville, I (eventually) realized that there was no way I was going to be able to do it without God’s help and for all my toiling, I should have been leaning on the Lord and trusting that he would lead me to the right place. And he did. Quite quickly after I poured out my heart to God he cleared the path and illuminated it for me, leading me to my current job. 

Since then, I have realized what I knew all along but foolishly forgot: I can do nothing apart from the Lord. Re-realizing this, and not letting the breadth of the blessings I’ve been given escape me, I have sought to grow in my faith since moving home. I attend church every week, am part of a community group, and seek to be a part of activities within the church. I have thoroughly enjoyed incorporating all of this into my life but I can’t say it’s easy. Other commitments always try to creep in and I’ve felt nervous that I’m not as spiritually mature as my friends in the church and thus don’t have as much to contribute to our group – or worse, that I’ll say something stupid. 

One thing the pastor mentioned in church last Sunday is that at some point in many Christians’ lives, we were somehow given the idea that the Christian life should be easy. And, put as plainly as I can, who told us this?! God does not promise us an easy life. One thing that I previously had trouble with was actually making time to spend reading the Bible and praying every day – aka having a “Quiet Time.” 

Back tracking a little, in all of this time that I’ve been seeking to grow in my relationship with God and praying that I would put aside my own desires to do as God desires, I’ve been feeling like my growth has been more external than internal – like I’m DOING more of what God wants but that my heart isn’t becoming less selfish. This has been discouraging, needless to say. I haven’t doubted that the Lord was hearing my prayers but why wasn’t I feeling growth happening?

Back to where I was, with quiet time. In church last week we talked about John 15, in which Jesus tells us: ““I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” And I realized that by shirking on my quiet time with the Lord, I was minimizing my ability to remain in Jesus, to be a healthy branch – so how could I bear any noticeable fruit? 

So I doubled down on my efforts to have quiet time every day, insisting that I am not allowed to turn the TV on when I get home until this has happened. And today, while praying after reading the Word, the Holy Spirit showed me a glimpse of the work that God has been doing in me: He’s cultivated in me a desire to know Him deeply. That doesn’t come from my selfish heart. I’ve been praying that I would grow in my relationship with Him and today the Spirit showed me that God is helping me make that happen by first giving me the deep desire. He IS changing my heart. I can’t even express how excited and grateful I am to have been shown this. Truly, the Lord does know your every need. For me, this is the proof I needed that quiet time works. That dedicating time specifically to gain the nourishment from God’s word that is needed to be a fruitful branch is not just a habit you need to form to be a “good Christian.” It is something that will provide you with the nourishment you need in order to LIVE. 

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Posted in Uncategorized
Tags: Christianity, Faith